Testimony and Trust

Rev. Beth Hoffman Copenhaver

with Trish O’Brien

October 6, 2024: Mental Health Sunday

Scripture: Ephesians 4:1–3, 32

I encourage you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit . . . Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.

Beth

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization, 1 in 5 adults—about 60 million people—experience mental illness in a given year, and 1 in 6 youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year. Sadly, the church has been mostly silent regarding mental health. Slowly, this is beginning to change, but not quickly enough. One-in-five adults in the U.S. experiencing mental illness in a given year means this issue lives in the church, and it’s important to recognize how theological and ethical narratives shape the ways in which we create or do not create access for mental health care for millions of people. Social structures like poverty, racism, sexism, and violence can enhance or diminish health, just as can biological or genetic factors. “The response to mental health issues should be equally diversified in terms of advocating for social justice, individual health care access, communal support, research and education. Churches need to make the shift away from stigmatizing mental health as a moral failing or result of personal sin and instead promote theologies and provide resources that support and sustain those with mental health issues and their families.” (Dr. Kathryn Ott, Assistant Professor of Christian Social Ethics at Drew Theological School, Sojourners Magazine)

It is time for the church to lift the stigma from mental illness and instead proclaim that we are a community rooted in love and support. That here is place. That here there is invitation to authenticity, whatever that looks like. We must do more to care for those struggling and suffering to find meaning, to know hope, to trust love. What does that look like at Plymouth Church? Shall we create support groups? Become more involved with our beloved Drop In community? Build our cadre of resources and referrals to mental health agencies—those that can make a real difference? Are you willing to sit with another who cannot even find the words to describe the despair, but in desperation comes to church anyway hoping somehow, someway, something will be said that will mend a shattered spirit. I am grateful that in the last few years there is more interest in paying attention to how we frame mental health resource and support here at Plymouth. We have become a partner congregation with Mental Health Connect, which provides necessary navigational support in a complicated health care system as well as education and resource to the dozens of affiliated congregations. And still, Plymouth can do much more to become a beacon of awareness while providing the comfort and care necessary so that those feeling lost will know grace. Will know place. Let us live in to the directive of our scripture passage this morning so that we will bear one another with love, and practice tenderhearted kindness.

You have heard me say over and over: Everyone has a story and every story is sacred. When we tell pieces of our story we form connection and community. For our stories, when shared, offer an intersection of relationship, a realization that always there is a common tie that binds. I imagine this day you are sitting in the pew considering your own journey with mental health, or thinking of someone you love who is walking an unknown path with mental illness. In the fall of 2021 we offered a monthly worship experience called “Testimony” on Sunday evenings. This worship service was created as an opportunity for both deep listening and transformation of storyteller and congregation as we opened our hearts to a snippet of another’s story and then contemplated how our story might interweave with another, creating space for discovering something new about us, the storyteller and the Divine source. This morning Trish O’Brien has bravely offered to share a testimony with you. I invite you to a time of attentive listening, and following Trish’s story I will ask you to prayerfully consider three distinct words that suggest how Trish’s testimony engages with your sacred story.

Let us center ourselves in prayer:

Spirit of Life and Love, Holy One of our Being and our Becoming, That which is Sacred Within, Among, and Beyond Us . . .

We know so many stories about ourselves, some of them the same stories we tell about others: Beautiful, Crass, Simple, Difficult, Joyous, Useful, Questioning. Stories about who we are, what we know, and the potentials and impossibilities of our future. Stories about our purpose and the meaning of our lives. We have countless stories buried too deep in our souls for us to even recognize them.

God of Discovery, help us find the strength to excavate those buried stories. Let us lean on one another as we brush them off, hold them up to the light, and find their meaning and use. May our roots nourish us, so that we might grow abundantly and flower into blessings for one another and the world.

Above all, Holy Parent, sing to us the truest story You know, and sing it to us in notes we can never unhear. Remind us every day, every moment, that we are beloved, beloved, beloved. Surround Trish with strength and comfort. Amen.

Trish’s Testimony: My Mental Health Journey

I have Major Depressive Disorder—a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life.

This is my story of living with depression. I grew up in a home that was filled with harsh yelling and emotional abuse, alcohol abuse and undiagnosed mental illness. At the age of 15 I started drinking to cope, until the age of 37 when I got sober. The following year I started therapy and I stayed with that therapist for 20+ years. Together, we worked on the trauma of my childhood, helping me to begin the journey to wholeness. She surmised that I probably had depression since I was a young child.

I have been on medications to treat my depression since the 1990’s, 1st with my FP doctor, then a psychiatric NP and finally with a psychiatrist. In 2000, I was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts, due to poor medication management. I was inpatient for 14 days and that was followed by 3 weeks of intensive outpatient day treatment. From that experience, it became clear to me that I needed to have a strong support system around me, to help navigate the many ups and downs, obstacles and various paths to mental health wellness. So from that time on I have always had a therapist, psychiatrist, and a small circle of very supportive wise women friends and family. You see, depression wants me to isolate and be cut off from my relationships. It makes it extremely hard to pick up the phone and say, “I’m really struggling today and need to talk.” Now I have those close girlfriends, plus my sponsors and my husband, that I know will be there for me anytime I need to talk. There is no shame in telling someone I trust that I need help. I have worked very hard at building up that “i need help” muscle so that it has become natural to do so. Because of this, I also know if my depression is heading down the slippery-slope, I will either call and make an appointment with my therapist and/or email my psychiatrist to discuss my condition.

Currently, I have a monthly appointment with my therapist who does art therapy with me. She sits with me holding space for me to process those difficult life experiences I have, from time to time. A few years ago she suggested I try EMDR, eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. Its a psychotherapy technique that helps people heal from trauma and other distressing experiences. I was ready to revisit some more trauma and found EMDR very beneficial. It was like building a bridge from an island of depression to the shore, where there is hope and healing.

I have med check appointments with my psychiatrist every 3 months. In 2022, I began Ketamine therapy, a newer modality that has proven to be very effective for me. However, it was only covered for 9 months by my Medicare insurance plan. I also did TMS, transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, but only had so-so results. Most recently, I am undergoing KAP therapy or Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy. This combination of a Ketamine injection, followed by therapy for processing, has been very successful. But like I said, my insurance plan doesn’t cover Ketamine for depression. So this is an out of pocket expense I’m willing to pay for.

All of these modalities were discussed and decided upon with my psychiatrist and therapist. I have had numerous medication changes over the years but now I’m stable with 2 meds and the Ketamine treatment.

I briefly want to emphasize that this is a journey not a destination and I will be on it for the rest of my life. What has been most important for me is that I try very hard to keep moving forward, even on my darkest days. On those days, I have to reach out to my support system and tell someone that I’m struggling. Or maybe I need to email my Psychiatrist just to check in. Taking action is so important even though the depression wants to isolate. There have been days when I went out for my walk but my feet felt like cement bricks. I kept moving forward just one step at a time.

So whether you are new in your own journey with mental illness or have been down the road for years, I want to stress that there is no shame in having a mental health disorder and that you can be hopeful about getting the right help for treatment and wholeness.

Today, I lead a very rich life, rich in relationships through my AA and AlAnon recovery, my connectedness to Mother Earth, my spirituality and my involvement here in Plymouth church. I enjoy daily walks, cooking, knitting, reading, doing my artwork, serving at Third Sunday meals, singing with the Chapel Singers and now joining the Campus Task Force work group.

My prayer today is to reach just one person so maybe their path will be a little lighter. Thank you.

Beth

Using just three words, how does the testimony engage your own sacred story? Please share with someone sitting around you. There is no need to explain, just offer to the other your three words. I know this takes courage, and I trust that you can do this.

[sharing]

To those struggling this day, praying your heart would beat at a normal pace and the self loathing and despair would melt away, the anxiety would diminish and the depression fade . . . I care. We care. You are not alone. You are brave and courageous. You have a place here, a sacred spot created just for you. And the collective will keep reminding you that you are loved, you are cherished, you have purpose. We need you. Because without you we are not whole.

Amen.